If you’ve got a female child in the house, then chances are – you know what the next words are going to be…
build a SNOWWWWWWMAN?
Of course, I’m talking about a line from one of the hit songs in the Disney animated “FROZEN”. After the live version of the song went viral today on Facebook, and I cried… yet again at the words and the emotion. Especially as the girl turns into an adult, and begs of her sister to “let her in….”
I started of considering WHY. ( I mean other than God created me highly in tune with my emotions – for which I do not consider a weakness, and am thankful for) 🙂
Why does that song and the words and the feeling just really break me down?
Chances are most of us have felt like Anna…. or like Elza at some point in our lives. Either “shut out” or the one shutting others out because of unexplainable hurt.
I know I have.
More than once, I’m positive.
And it hurts.
I watched an episode of “What Not to Wear” while walking on the treadmill this week, and the person they were transforming reminded me of my daughter. Words were being thrown around about how the person had “no feeling” or “held no emotional connection to her clothing” … she just was unable to show her emotions, so they gave her a scale to use to share how she was feeling from 0 to 10.
Now clearly the person HAD emotions, and she had opinions… but according to what the world considers “normal” (and I’d include myself in the category with the world), this girl clearly had a social disorder or perhaps even autism spectrum disorder. It was pretty obvious.
Honestly, it was painful to watch as a viewer, and I’m guessing it was a pretty awkward situation for the hosts of the show. I think it took them a bit to pick up that she was actually “like that” – it was part of who she was.
My relationship with my daughter has always boggled my mind. As most children naturally repeat “I love you” when prompted at a young age, she was 5 before she said it…. and even then I didn’t feel like she really knew what that meant. She struggles with empathy, emotion and proper social cues.
I’m jealous that she doesn’t really get emotionally tied in to things (clothing especially, or food for that matter, or situations that shouldn’t require as much thought as I have given it) or that she doesn’t blame herself when someone blows her off… (because chances are, she doesn’t notice it!)
So part of my tears this week were empathy.
Part of them were JOY.
My daughter is making progress… I feel this recovery process IS working, especially on her brain and in her heart. I wish I could share with you what a gift it is to have her say, “Hey mom….” and actually have something she wants to share with me, vs blank looks, and no interaction. She even started writing a “back and forth” journal with me. This clearly isn’t the same girl in so many aspects. HUGE hope. HUGE.
For those of you working on recovering your children with autism – just know, it’s worth it. I’m seeing leaps and bounds with this one. I couldn’t be happier.
God doesn’t change who HE is, but aren’t you thankful He can change us? Boy, am I ever! Healthy for Him
“I the Lord do not change.”
I didn’t realize this was such a negative question to ask. I suppose it could be used as a put down, if I didn’t know better, which I didn’t.
What I’m talking about is Orofacial Myofunctional disorder from being tongue tied.
What is Orofacial Myofunctional therapy all about?
If you are a mouth breather, or you suffer from TMJ, poor sleep habits, drooling, teeth grinding, poor chewing (and therefore, digestion) or have an upper airway obstruction that causes a multitude of behavior problems from poor sleep – than YOU too might need some therapy. (I already KNEW I did!)
Getting the body to FUNCTION correctly, so you can be well, is very important to us.
Understanding your body, the way God made us each so differently – and learning how to “work with what you have” is key.
I think back to the stress of having my son.
The first grandchild, born right before Christmas…
Born at 9 lbs 3oz, he was a failure to thrive for almost 8 weeks. Labeled a “slow” nurser, there was more going on than that. Determined to nurse, and reassured by every 3 day doctor visits, and personalized nursing visits – the professional told me, all was ok. But wasn’t ok… and I can almost blink and feel the emotions I felt back then.
Helpless. Unsupported by family… It was a pretty lonely road for my husband and I with our first child, but a great learning opportunity that God eventually used to grow us towards Him. The one person who really supported us, happened to be my doctor’s wife, and the Godmother of our children. She understood a slow-gainer, and the frustration and stress of your first baby dashing those hopes of being a ‘by the book’ baby. She brought me lots of info, was my shoulder to cry on and let me know he would “ok”…
I’m sure I had post pardum depression. I hardly slept. He cried ALL THE TIME.
I think now… he wasn’t JUST hungry… he wasn’t able to swallow from the breast properly. He eventually learned how to adapt to a bottle, and I pumped my milk for him until he was about a year old. But, not before I lost much of my breast tissue and cried for nights on end.
What seems to happen now (commonly) with just a clip of the tongue while the baby is still in the first few weeks of life, was missed… with him – and all of our children. Some how. It just shows up differently in each one.
That oldest son is getting his 3rd set of braces off soon… because of his tongue thrusting. After his second set, and going to only “night wear” of his retainer – they shifted back within 6 weeks. The orthodontist suggested “tongue training” at the time… but I had no idea what that meant, or how that would even be possible.
He has battled drooling from only a few months of age, and lived in a bib. They even did a stomach sonogram to insure that food wasn’t causing his spit up sessions after a doctor was concerned his value by his esophagus wasn’t sealed. I tease my son about it now, when he “forgets to swallow” but only because I didn’t understand it – until now. I don’t do that any more.
He’s never been able to swallow pills… and again, I think “you just do it.” What could possibly be the problem?
Unless you don’t really know how to swallow “back” – but only thrust forward.
Again the guilt seeps in. Where was the medical community to tell me and guide me through this?
No wonder he had motion sickness, and awoke from naps crabby…. every. day.
No wonder he’s a night owl, like me. It’s hard to fall asleep, to stay asleep… to feel well rested.
So, we’re working on our consult for our family. I’m not sure of the cost of this type of thing, but I’m guessing (again) that it’s out of pocket. The therapy after it’s cut is important… in retraining just how all of those neck and head muscles work together.
It’s crazy that I would be so excited about something like this… but I am. I’ve started focusing on sleeping on my back, and the deep breathing through my nose with my mouth closed. I want my kids to be able to rest well, and hopefully function more as God intended, for His glory. Healthy for Him!
“The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”