Daily Archives: December 8, 2013

You Provide the Way


I love Advent.  The preparation of the arrival of our King’s birthday.

The celebration, the colors, and sparkles.  All that glitters and shines…

But there was a time that I equated Christmas with let-down.

Every time Christmas came around, I knew I was going to end up feeling… disappointed or almost depressed with how Christmas didn’t go…

That was a self-focused spirit I had.  One centered around self, vs God.  It was a greedy spirit that I vowed not to pass onto my children through list-making and present grabbing.

Gifts is one of my love languages.  I love gifts.  I felt loved when I was given thoughtful gifts, and I enjoy loving on people through gifts as well.

So, how do you think when I got this GIFT?

Loved?  Actually, yes.


{From Ann Voskamp’s Advent Devotional book “The Greatest Gift”}

“In the thin of Advent, you may not even know how to say it out loud: ‘I thought it would be easier.’  And your God comes near: I will provide the way.  You may not even know who to tell: ‘I thought it would be different.’  And you God draws close: I will provide the grace for the gaps.  You may not even know how to find the words for it: ‘I thought I would be….. more.’  And you God reaches out: I will provide Me.”

As I read this words in a puddle of tears this week.  I thought… “Wow God.  I am so much more, through You.”

I did think life would be easier… (after all, I worked too hard to be sick – I was “healthy” )

I thought it would be different…. (Life is so different than I imagined… so much more difficult.  This hardly seemed fair.)

 I thought I would be “more”…  (I gave birth and am helping to raise 8 children, perhaps this will be my greatest accomplishment in taking part of His plans. Maybe I was trying to do and be too much outside of that?…)

In those moments… that I knew I was dying in the worst imaginable way…. suffering and falling apart, suffocating and abandon… in front of my children, without the understanding of my family… or my friends.  With no answers to gather sympathy of a formal “diagnosis”…  I was probably the emptiest and most alone I’ve ever been in my life, even though I was at peace with dying.  The physical pain was out weighed by the lack of being heard, and lack of understanding – that God knew, NO ONE else could provide.

He had be right where He wanted me.

He is the gift.

Just as He promises – we are NEVER alone.  His gifts come with a purpose.

 that peace of knowing exactly what was going on, and providing the WAY to get me out… and restoring my peace through His knowledge, power and strength.

If you are suffering this day, might you reach out and hold God’s hand…  He will provide the way, He will provide the grace, and HE will provide Himself…  He hears YOU.

You are never alone.

“For the Lord disciplines the one He loves,
    and chastises every son whom He receives.”

Hebrews 12:6

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