The Verdict, Is In

My birthday dinner.  Doesn't it look healthy? :)  It was pretty tasty!

My birthday dinner. Doesn’t it look healthy? 🙂 It was pretty tasty!

Ever heard the saying, “I can’t trust that person as far as I can throw them?”

Pleasant thought, isn’t it?

I suppose you could say that same thing about me, when it comes to learning old lessons the hard way.

I just don’t learn lessons about food very well.

Call me optimistic, or just plain … not very smart when it comes to wanting chocolate.

But it was my birthday.  I wanted a treat.

I made those brownies…

I even put them in a larger pan to make more of them – so they would be smaller.  (I game I often played with myself to justify larger pieces, that weren’t as thick.)

You’re all fooled right?

So what did I do the night I made my brownies?

I was just going to have a little taste…

(That would be like an alcoholic saying they would have just “one sip”…)

Three brownies later… I was SO pleased with myself.

No bloat, no head shaking…  (like I said, I knew they wouldn’t be like some of my other offenders, so the affects weren’t immediate)… and Mmmmmm…. so tasty.  I missed brownies so much.

Then the next day came… and I had this pain – all day,  in my side.

I went running with my husband and it worsened.  Similar to a round ligament pain, or a runners cramp – but it was there before I started running and never went away.

In celebration of my birthday at lunch… I treated myself with 2 more brownies.  (Hey, they were small… right?)

While I was running, I totally regretted that – as I thought I might throw those bad-boys up.  (Nothing like a run to remind you to NOT over eat!)

But again, I justified it… I REALLY missed brownies… and treats… and it WAS my birthday.

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

I was so worn out last night I could barely hold my head up.  Yes, I’ve had a long week – but it was more than that, and I knew it.
I woke up today, and it was even worse and I felt like almost flu-ish… just like I did last fall, almost everyday.  Right before my husband came home from lunch – I was passed out on the couch.  JUST LIKE last fall.  My eyes have been swelling, my head and throat hurt… and my head… is just pounding.  I liken it to be run through two metal rollers and spit out.  Everything hurt.

And I’m REALLY mad at myself.

It was NOT worth it.  I really knew I shouldn’t have done that… I can’t be trusted with just a bite.  I love those tastes too much – and I knew that too.  Shame on me.
Ok, moving on now…
A good friend, actually a extra-special “sister” of mine sent me a birthday card and gift certificate to a place that serves all raw foods and juices.  It was such a blessing and encouragement to me today.  JUST what I needed.
#1. that she got me enough to know that “feeling normal” by being able to get a “treat” out is pretty special, and #2, that she wants to encourage me to be well, which was needed today when I just felt SO poorly.
Feeling majorly blessed, which is much better than beating myself up for something I can’t change now.  Off to drink some juice and keep flushing this out of my system.  The scripture is fitting.  I feel like a FOOL.

“As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.”

Proverbs 26:11

Posted on June 18, 2013, in Auto Immune Disease, Celiac/Gluten Sensitivity, Truth and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. homeschoolmomremembers

    Oy vey! Me too! I must look to fruit for my “sugar” fix….but oh how I miss brownies, cookies, cake and donuts. Sigh. Thank you for reminding me it isn’t worth it!

    • I keep my sugar from fruit really low. Dates are usually my splurge once or twice a week… Shame on me!!! Thanks for the empathy! (Hugs)

      • homeschoolmomremembers

        How much fruit do you eat? I usually eat 2 or 3 servings a day!

      • I’ve read to keep fructose under 25 grams a day, and 2 bananas or 2 dates = 15 grams. I probably have 2-3 servings, but I’m trying to cut down bananas… I mainly eat berries and half an apple.

      • homeschoolmomremembers

        Thank you! Mandy Strawn is my neighbor here in Germany and she told me about your blog. I have fibromyalgia. And I love Jesus! :). Mandy is such a sweet woman and has been a great encouragement to me.

      • That is so awesome you know Mandy. We miss her a lot! I had fibromyalgia really badly last fall. I only get it now when I eat things that don’t like me (like now). I liken it to achy labor that won’t go away. (hugs) I pray you find a way to feel well.

      • homeschoolmomremembers

        Thank you! I have battled it for 20 plus years. And the stress of moving overseas didn’t help! Plus it took me awhile to figure out where to find gluten free dairy free food. It has been worse the last month. I also have to limit my activity…and as one lady said, I need to quit thinking I can keep up with my 20something daughters and face the fact that I am in my 50s! Lol. Thank you again for your blog. I truly appreciate it.

      • Well you’re a trooper!!! It makes me sick that doctors won’t test for food cytotoxins to see what foods might be attacking the immune system to cause these reactions. I didn’t fully get rid of mine until I cut out nightshades, nuts and seeds. I had already figured out coffee and tea on my own as well. Have you checked out the book” auto-immune disease, cause and cure”? It was really helpful in me understanding why foods were doing “this” to me.

      • homeschoolmomremembers

        No. I will look for it! Thank you!

  2. I am so sorry for this. I know how you feel. Chips are my Achilles heal and sometimes I suffer for it. It can be challenging to consistently do the right thing. I have been working on this for months now. I give you a lot of credit for all that you are doing. Do not be too hard on yourself. ; )

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