Daily Archives: June 18, 2013

The Verdict, Is In

My birthday dinner.  Doesn't it look healthy? :)  It was pretty tasty!

My birthday dinner. Doesn’t it look healthy? ūüôā It was pretty tasty!

Ever heard the saying, “I can’t trust that person as far as I can throw them?”

Pleasant thought,¬†isn’t it?

I suppose you could say that same thing about me, when it comes to learning old lessons the hard way.

I just don’t learn lessons about food¬†very well.

Call me optimistic, or just plain … not very smart when it¬†comes to wanting chocolate.

But it was my birthday.  I wanted a treat.

I made those brownies…

I even put them in a larger pan to make more of them – so they would be smaller.¬† (I game I often played with myself to justify larger pieces, that weren’t as thick.)

You’re all fooled right?

So what did I do the night I made my brownies?

I was just going to have a little taste…

(That would be like an alcoholic saying they would have just “one sip”…)

Three brownies later… I was SO pleased with myself.

No bloat, no head shaking…¬† (like I said, I knew they wouldn’t be like some of my other offenders, so the affects weren’t immediate)… and Mmmmmm…. so tasty.¬† I missed brownies so much.

Then the next day came… and¬†I had this pain – all day,¬† in my side.

I went running with my husband and it worsened.  Similar to a round ligament pain, or a runners cramp Рbut it was there before I started running and never went away.

In celebration of my birthday at lunch… I treated myself with 2 more brownies.¬† (Hey, they were small… right?)

While I was running, I totally regretted that Рas I thought I might throw those bad-boys up.  (Nothing like a run to remind you to NOT over eat!)

But again, I justified it… I REALLY missed brownies… and treats… and it WAS my birthday.

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

I was so worn out last night I could barely hold my head up.¬† Yes, I’ve had a long week – but it was more than that, and I knew it.
I woke up today, and it was even worse and I felt like almost flu-ish… just like I did last fall, almost everyday.¬† Right before my husband came home from lunch – I was passed out on the couch.¬† JUST LIKE last fall.¬† My eyes have been swelling, my head and throat hurt… and my head… is just pounding.¬† I liken it to be run through two metal rollers and spit out.¬† Everything hurt.

And I’m REALLY mad at myself.

It was NOT worth it.¬† I really knew I shouldn’t have done that… I can’t be trusted with just a bite.¬† I love those tastes too much – and I knew that too.¬† Shame on me.
Ok, moving on now…
A good friend, actually a extra-special “sister” of mine sent me a birthday card and gift certificate to a place that serves all raw foods and juices.¬† It was such a blessing and encouragement to me today.¬† JUST what I needed.
#1. that she got me enough to know that “feeling normal” by being able to get a “treat” out is pretty special, and #2, that she wants to encourage me to be well, which¬†was¬†needed today when I just felt SO poorly.
Feeling majorly blessed, which is much better than beating myself up for something I can’t change now.¬† Off to drink some juice and keep flushing this out of my system.¬† The scripture is fitting.¬† I feel like a FOOL.

“As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.”

Proverbs 26:11

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