Daily Archives: June 18, 2013
Ever heard the saying, “I can’t trust that person as far as I can throw them?”
Pleasant thought, isn’t it?
I suppose you could say that same thing about me, when it comes to learning old lessons the hard way.
I just don’t learn lessons about food very well.
Call me optimistic, or just plain … not very smart when it comes to wanting chocolate.
But it was my birthday. I wanted a treat.
I made those brownies…
I even put them in a larger pan to make more of them – so they would be smaller. (I game I often played with myself to justify larger pieces, that weren’t as thick.)
You’re all fooled right?
So what did I do the night I made my brownies?
I was just going to have a little taste…
(That would be like an alcoholic saying they would have just “one sip”…)
Three brownies later… I was SO pleased with myself.
No bloat, no head shaking… (like I said, I knew they wouldn’t be like some of my other offenders, so the affects weren’t immediate)… and Mmmmmm…. so tasty. I missed brownies so much.
Then the next day came… and I had this pain – all day, in my side.
I went running with my husband and it worsened. Similar to a round ligament pain, or a runners cramp – but it was there before I started running and never went away.
In celebration of my birthday at lunch… I treated myself with 2 more brownies. (Hey, they were small… right?)
While I was running, I totally regretted that – as I thought I might throw those bad-boys up. (Nothing like a run to remind you to NOT over eat!)
But again, I justified it… I REALLY missed brownies… and treats… and it WAS my birthday.
Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
I was so worn out last night I could barely hold my head up. Yes, I’ve had a long week – but it was more than that, and I knew it.
I woke up today, and it was even worse and I felt like almost flu-ish… just like I did last fall, almost everyday. Right before my husband came home from lunch – I was passed out on the couch. JUST LIKE last fall. My eyes have been swelling, my head and throat hurt… and my head… is just pounding. I liken it to be run through two metal rollers and spit out. Everything hurt.
And I’m REALLY mad at myself.
It was NOT worth it. I really knew I shouldn’t have done that… I can’t be trusted with just a bite. I love those tastes too much – and I knew that too. Shame on me.
Ok, moving on now…
A good friend, actually a extra-special “sister” of mine sent me a birthday card and gift certificate to a place that serves all raw foods and juices. It was such a blessing and encouragement to me today. JUST what I needed.
#1. that she got me enough to know that “feeling normal” by being able to get a “treat” out is pretty special, and #2, that she wants to encourage me to be well, which was needed today when I just felt SO poorly.
Feeling majorly blessed, which is much better than beating myself up for something I can’t change now. Off to drink some juice and keep flushing this out of my system. The scripture is fitting. I feel like a FOOL.
“As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.”