Meeting Myself, Face to Face [PART ONE]

I never dreamed I’d be 36 when I finally met myself, face-to-face.

I mean, I know myself…  but I never really understood myself.  My make-up.  The reasons for lots of different elements that make me who I am.  Digestively speaking.

Get ready, I’m about to boast about my weaknesses, and it’s going to take a few blogs to get it all out.  Oh, the irony!

I struggled with sharing too much of what I’ve been dealing with recently, for lots of reasons.  Pride might be the biggest one, but just uncertainty also, to know exactly how to explain it.  As I think of what has brought me so much comfort – other than my relationship with God, it’s been reading stories of others – who have shared their struggles, online.  I hope, in me sharing, someone else can be brought comfort through what I’ve experienced.

Bettering my health has been a priority to me, and my husband – for ourselves and our family, for over 6 years now.  It’s not by accident we studied N.E.R.F (Nutrition, Exercise, Rest and Fun) in school about the time I was dealing with gestational diabetes.  God knew what we needed.  We made some big changes that year, which – at the time, seemed huge to our family of 8.  Mainly spreading out our carbs throughout the day, and cutting down my intake considerably.  Things were anything but healthy, before we began.

We went from bowls of sugary cereal, to eggs, sausage, yogurt and a small carb option.  We made educated choices and the difference in our health was astounding.  For one, we nearly never get the stomach flu-like we used to.  I attribute that to the daily yogurt… at any rate, I’m very thankful.

Looking back now, I know why God had this all laid out, and knows me full well.

I don’t like CHANGE, especially if it’s not my idea.

When someone tells me I can’t have something, what is the first thing I desire?  My mom will tell you this has gone on my whole life.  My husband will thank the person who told me I couldn’t home school – they probably sealed the deal right then and there.  {I’m not even joking.}

Stubborn might be an appropriate name.

So needless to say, the fact that I’ve deal with GI issues my whole life (but oddly NOT when pregnant – Yes, I really enjoyed this aspect of pregnancy), I just assumed that was normal for me.  No need to ever really bring that up to a Dr.

Right?

It’s quite embarrassing.  It seems like something I should be able to control… and with Immodium AD, and avoiding triggers I knew of…  but I never could quite get a handle on what it was that made me sick.  Sometimes it was right away – as in, 15 minutes after I ate.  Other times I just didn’t feel well for days, for no apparent reason.

I actually thought I might be cured.  I thought maybe pregnancy agreed with me so much… I’d never have GI issues again!

But then, after having my 6th child, I did have another major episode… I attributed it to stress and a trigger I indulged in… and my husband being gone for a week on business while I tended to 6 children ages 6 and under.  It stuck around for a month.  I couldn’t seem to kick it.  Everything I ate, went straight through me. Again, I was stressed, a dear friend passed away… and I missed my period, but wasn’t pregnant.   Nothing really alarmed me.  My periods were never on schedule.

Then, I got pregnant two more times… and it went away.  Again.

I thought maybe I was healed for good!

But was I?

to be continued…

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

  1 Corinthians 12:9

Posted on April 19, 2012, in Celiac/Gluten Sensitivity, Change, Diet, Our Struggles, Truth. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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