Face Your Fears!
About a year ago, a church friend asked about the possibility of us singing a duet at church.
“Sure…” I said.
It was a Casting Crowns song… I love Casting Crowns. I love singing.
I don’t love singing in front of people.
Scratch that, I did like being in front of people… when I was younger, and on a stage [being someone else], and the audience was BLACK. I give a mean car concert now and then too, if the kids aren’t with me…
Fast forward to two months ago. My friend contacted me again about singing this song…. “Around Easter would be a great time,” he said.
[Considering our sanctuary at church has been out of use since Christmas Eve (structural issues), our two services in the fellowship hall have been smaller. Especially the 8 o’clock one “we” attend.]
“Sure!” I thought. “This should be easy, small crowd, sometime around Easter. With God, I can do this.”
The next Facebook message stated: “We’re on for Easter!”
“Um…. Easter? As in Easter day?” I began thinking…
I calmed myself down, remembering 8am service usually isn’t that full. Maybe the older people there couldn’t hear that well. I would be ok.
About an hour passed… and I suddenly replayed a conversation I had with my husband earlier that week.
“We’ll be having a joined Easter service this year – with both the contemporary and traditional services… and it will be held at the auditorium at the high school.”
At the time, I thought that was a pretty neat idea.
After I realized I was going to be singing at that service. My joy transitioned into sheer panic.
Wwwwait a minute God.
You know I don’t like singing in front of people.
I heard God say, “This is not about you. It’s about Me.”
I’m not sure if that made it easier, but it made it more worth it at that point. I can have any minor suffering – to bring you glory. Yes, I can do that.
Then God brought me encouragement through people who have been there before. When we practiced, the night before in the auditorium… someone said, “No matter where you sing, the audience is ONE.”
Isn’t THAT the Truth?
In EVERYTHING we do, our audience is ONE.
One to please.
Suddenly I thought about why God had placed me in this situation, and what He wanted from me… and it erased any selfish feelings I had from the scenario. It’s not about me feeling scared, or emotional, or terrified of what people might think… It’s not about feeling like my voice isn’t good enough to sing for my King, in front of other people. It was about me doing what He had set before me to do out of obedience, on one of the greatest days we celebrate and in honor of the greatest Gift ever given.
Yes!! With God, I can do this.
I was filled with excitement [sometimes the kind that makes you want to throw up, but excitement none the less]… and He worked hard to overcome my anxiety that day. Much prayer, and encouragement got me through… and I’m thankful.
I remember a time I used to be fearful to pray in front of others…which seems silly to me now. In time, HE took that away too.
What fear do YOU have?
We know who fills us with fear, and who fills us with PEACE. Look to Him who grants that peace – and open up to the fullness He provides in all things.
Don’t think He can encourage you to get MOVIN’ or get rid of that nasty stumbling block you struggle with consuming? Think again! Our God, is an AWESOME God.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6