Face to Face – A Healthy Marriage
One of the blessings of working on the computer at night, is listening to sermons while I work. I’ve been able to listen to quite a few lately, and each night – I am blessed by what I hear.
The most recent one by Mark Driscoll was about marriage, and what that should look like, according to God’s word. He talked about how many great spiritual leaders, and writers – people we often consider “saints” in the Protestant faith, were terrible husbands and fathers. It was great to consider just what our priorities need to be with our marriages, and our families and just to evaluate the “health” of those relationships… Looking to the perfect relationship of Christ and the church.
I counted myself blessed as I listened about several men, husbands and fathers, who had sacrificed their marriages and families in a very non-Biblical way. Their works driven effort had neglected the commitment they had made to God in their spouse – the second most important relationship in their life. Mark brought up that the sacrifice has been given, so we are not to sacrifice the very gifts God has blessed us with (spouse and children) in order to be “blessed more” or “work harder” for God. He doesn’t say this in His word. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
I realized that I’m guilty of seeing good things or even better things in this world, and taking my eyes off of God – for the GREAT thing He has to offer. It doesn’t mean we don’t serve, it just means we don’t serve in a way that sacrifices our first commitments. IF it’s always hurting your marriage, and your family – it’s a good sign that it’s not God’s best.
Mark talked about how many marriages end up in a “back to back” relationship – each person living their own life… but not even really in the same book. He then talked about the “shoulder to shoulder” marriages – where they’re both working for the same goals, maybe in the same book – but not on the same page. These couples are often working independently a majority of the time. So again, difficult to be utilizing what God designed as your “help-mate” in your spouse and it’s to see how these couples eventually drift apart. The kids grow up, they move on – and the couple who never nurtured that friendship as husband and wife, nor do they “feel” a reason to stay together.
The focus was on getting your marriage back to a FACE TO FACE relationship. A relationship that daily prays together, that serves one another, and holds each other accountable (no, this does not mean nagging), but is focused on God-centered goals for their future.
We were blessed tonight by our good friends watching our 8 angels while WE had some “face to face” time – which didn’t include “mommy” every third word, cleaning dishes, clothing being folded, or sitting at a computer.
(PS if you can find a couple who will swap date nights with you… do this, it is a blessing! Who better knows what it feels like to desire some “face-to-face” time with your spouse, than a friend going through the same stage in life! [Plus, it’s removes that guilt of being in debt to someone, always burdening family (it’s nice to have options – more dates right?), or paying an unqualified sitter – because it’s a favor you can return, at price you can afford (FREE!).]
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31