I Will Never…

LEARN to stop saying I’ll never…apparently!!

When I was 19 I swore I never wanted to have children.  I hated men.  I think I just hated the world at that point… broken-hearted, angry, and lost for the future I thought I had planned… immaturity… whatever it was, I said it.

God heard me.

NO doubt in my mind He was going to break me of all selfishness and self-willed spouting…

Did I learn?

No.

I continued on saying, “I will never…” and every TIME it’s come back to bite me.

I’ll never drive a mini-van.

I’ll never home school… (those people are WEIRD you know?  What about socialization!?!)

I’ll NEVER drive a BIG van, it’s like a school bus… (does our vehicle REALLY define us?  How shallow of me!)

I will NEVER bake bread. (isn’t that some home schooling rite of passage?  We wear jumpers and bake bread.  I won’t say it – but I don’t own a jumper.)

Here it is. My bread making machine. *Gulp* The first loaf is in the maker… I’ll let you know how it turns out!

Here I am… making bread… eating crow, and laughing at God.

Oh Lord – what a sense of humor you have.  I am SO very wrong, and your ways are far greater than I ever imagine.

In my small hopes of my future, I am SO thankful you laid a greater plan… and love me more than anyone could.

With 8 children, with homeschooling, with providing us a vehicle to be together safely, as our family has grown (and I have grown in maturity), and YES… with the possibility to make bread my children can eat and be healthy.  We eat a lot less bread, and I personally don’t eat it at all… but I’m glad I know exactly what is IN this bread (we do love Udi’s bread though).

Thank you Lord – for loving me, and listening to ways I need broken.

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.”

Hebrews 12:28-29